The Occasional Blog of Jonah Weiland

So, I got home around 10:45 tonight and about an hour later notice some chewed up wrappers lying around the house. What did my dog Yeager get in to this time?

I tracked it down and it was some gum that was in my bag. No biggie I thought.

Then I decided to do a Google search and suddenly I find, “Orbit gum with Xylitol is deadly to dogs!” Xylitol is a sugar alcohol sweetener that is highly dangerous to dogs. Apparently it can cause a dramatic drop in blood sugar and liver damage.

I go look at the chewed up wrappers — shit, it’s Orbit gum!

Fuck.

I rush over to the 24 hour Vet (there’s one five minutes from my house) and they examine him and we call ASPCA poison control. Carrie from Poison Control asks what flavor the gum was — all I knew was the wrapper was pink. Carrie starts grilling me. How many pieces did he get? I’ve not clue, but I know the package wasn’t full. She again asks about the flavor. I say the wrapper’s in a million pieces and I have no clue. She tells me the pink gum could be one of three flavors — Bubble Gum (unlikely), Strawberry Mint (maybe) and Melon Mint (most likely, but I’m not sure). If it’s Melon Mint, there’s a very small amount of Xylitol and Yeager should be fine, but if it’s Strawberry Mint it’s dangerous and he needs to be put on immediate fluids and his blood sugar needs to be checked regularly for the next 24 hours. She suggested I rush home, gather up as many pieces of the packaging as possible, compare them against packaging I can find at 7-11 and report back immediately.

Yeager and I hop in the car and head home. I rush up stairs and start looking for more pieces of the chewed up wrapper. I’m looking over every piece I have and a couple of minutes later I find gold — the flavor is Maui Melon Mint!

I call the vet and they say OK, you’re clear, but being the overly protective dog father I am, I call Carrie back at ASPCA poison control. I tell her the details, she says no worries let’s double check. Yup, I lucked out – Maui Melon Mint has a very small amount of Xylitol in it and Yeager should be fine. She suggests I feed Yeager extra fiber over the next 24 hours to help him digest the wrappers by giving him a piece of whole wheat bread in the morning and evening. There may be some diarrhea, but beyond that keep an eye on him and unless I notice anything weird he should be fine.

If you ever have a question about something your dog ate, the ASPCA Poison Control line is a fantastic resource. They can be reached at 888-299-2973 24 hours. If you live in the Los Angeles area and have an emergency with your animal, visit the Animal Emergency Center located in Studio City at 11730 Ventura Blvd. and is open 6:00 PM to 8:00 AM.

Thanks to Carrie as the ASPCA and the vets at the AEC. Now let’s see if I can actually get some sleep tonight.

Also — FUCK SUGAR FREE GUM.

Fun interview, and don’t miss the credits where Christian Slater has a bit of fun off camera with his co-stars. The full outtake will be included in our blooper reel later this year.

This was the interview I was looking forward to doing the most at WonderCon 2011 and it did not disappoint. Jon & Bob were great and I’m really looking forward to “Cowboys & Aliens.” Thanks to Lindsey for bringing them out!

“Hey Jonah, it’s XXXXXXX from XXXXXXX, calling you like you asked.”

“Who are you?”

“Remember last week we spoke via e-mail and you asked me to call you this week?”

“Oh, let me check my e-mail to refresh my memory. Huh, interesting, in my e-mail I said I didn’t want to do a call with you until you pitched me your services via e-mail and I’d let you know, via e-mail, when I’d like to set up a phone call.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I’m looking at the e-mail I sent you.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

AND that’s when the call ended.

I’ve had sales guys take this tactic with me numerous times. I get it, always keep the client talking, get your foot in the door, but there’s a point when you go too far and alienate the potential client. It’s absurd to me that these sales guys don’t get that very, very basic concept.

There’s following up, then there’s being a fucking jackass.

I’ve been meaning to get back to a bit of blogging for some time now, but the install of WordPress this site was running got hacked and there was some malware installed on some pages on this site. Blech! So, I’ve upgraded the blog tonight, resubmitted a request to Google to remove the malware warning page and once that’s done, I’ll get back to it.

Having not played on the technical/server side for almost three years now, preferring to pay someone else to handle that sort of work for CBR and what not, upgrading this blog wasn’t something I was 100% confident about, but I knew I could probably figure it out. First things first, I backed up everything — the database, the root directory, etc. Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up! Having made some serious mistakes when I first started playing on servers 15 years ago, I’ve learned my lesson and then some. And it’s a good thing, too, as during the upgrade I overwrote the themes file of this here blog. Once I restored that, I went in to config caching and what not and soon enough the blog was upgraded.

All told the upgrade took about an hour, which wasn’t as long as I thought it would take. And that’s something important for me to remember — I put off upgrading the software on this blog mostly because I was concerned it was going to take hours and hours and hours. I’ve had those nights in the past where upgrades took forever, but in this case it went smoothly and I worried for nothing. Something to remember for the future.

One note, I’ve removed the photo gallery from the site for now. It’s possible it was that old program that was distributing the malware, so let’s just dump that. Plus, I’d prefer to move all those photos over to Flickr or some other photo sharing site. A small project to work on in the future.

Well, that’s all sorts of boring, but hopefully we’ll get that malware issue squared away soon enough and I can get back to some original writing. Maybe I’ll even get in a bit of trouble.

Well, it literally has all come down to this. The final four acts, the final four performances. One of these individuals will win a 1 million dollar prize (BTW, paid out over 40 years – weaksauce!), will headline a national show and likely end up in Las Vegas for a major portion of their life. Let’s get to the acts.

Prince Poppycock — I don’t usually get upset when Piers buzzes someone. I got upset tonight. It was totally unnecessary. Poppycock’s performance was flawless, imaginative and an entirely new way of presenting a classic piece of opera. This guy has, throughout the competition, been one of the most compelling and entertaining performers this season and tonight was no exception. Gorgeous set design and costumes matched by an equally amazing voice. After the last two performances, which were over the top and hilarious, he went back to classic opera, reminding America of his range. Sure, not as wild or crazy as his last two performances, but incredibly touching. Prince Poppycock will definitely get some of my votes tonight.

Michael Grimm — Damn, man, you really did leave the best for last. Wonderful performance. Easily his best with a great group of back up singers and performers. Sharon said it – goose bumps. Nothing more really needs to be said, this was fantastic! Michael Grimm is for real.

Jackie Evancho — She did great, but it didn’t nearly affect me the same way Michael Grimm’s performance did. When it comes down to it, would I go see her in Las Vegas as a headlining act? No, absolutely not. She’s fantastic and she deserves all the accolades she gets, but she doesn’t get my votes tonight.

Now for this break …

WOW! Seeing all those acts perform together was great fun. Harmonic Pierre! Haspop! Michael Grasso! Anna & Patryk! Studio One! Those crazy fucks that fly around! Wonderful.

And back to our show …

Fighting Gravity — I wasn’t that crazy about the moon act last week, it was good, but they clearly needed more time. They made one small mistake tonight, which I have no problem forgiving. This was a brilliant continuation of the story they’ve been telling us. The light won over the darkness. Any way you look at it, this was incredibly inventive and with only one week of prep time, they did a fantastic job.

So, who are my votes going for? Let’s break it down like this, with 10 votes to be portioned out they would be distributed thusly:

Michael Grimm – 5 Votes
Fighting Gravity – 3 Votes
Prince Poppycock – 2 Votes
Jackie Evancho – 0 Votes

Good luck to all the contestants. A wonderful send off to this season.

Well, I’ve finally come to terms with my love of America’s Got Talent. I’m not afraid to talk about it publicly anymore, in fact I tweet about it probably more than most people appreciate. I’m at that point where I could go to the top of a building and scream out for all to hear, “I’m Jonah Weiland and I watch America’s Got Talent.” But I won’t.

With the show now in to the semi-finals, I figured I’d start assessing the acts a bit because this is where it gets good. This is where the finalists comes from and making those choices ain’t gon’ be easy. And I believe this year’s talent is better than last year’s crop, which was outstanding. Let’s get right to it.

Anna & Patryk – Look, these kids are great. It might feel odd watching them — first, watching ballroom dancing isn’t exactly something I make a habit of watching, and secondly, I’m not exactly in to watching 12 year old kids dance their asses off. But that being said, tonight they had a really fun performance and they danced their ass off. I don’t see them winning, but I do see a very bright future for them. That is, if they survive their teens without robbing a bank or turning to crack. Look, it’s not highly likely, but that would derail any chances of success.

Christina & Ali – I’ve loved these girls since the beginning and their story is very inspiring, but I really didn’t like this performance at all. The notes sounded a bit flat to me. I hate to say it, but I might not vote for them this week. Also, kids, don’t do crack.

Antonio Restivo – OK, this guy. I like his act well enough, but I’ve been getting so tired of him from audition to audition. This guy cries too damned much, and this comes from a guy who isn’t afraid to cry. Frankly his emotions just got to be too much. Get it together, man!
But, tonight? Holy Fuck, That Was Fucking Rad! Badass Mother Fucker! You killed it, mother fucker! BURN MORE SHIT! And Sharon, your comments were ridiculous.

Future Funk – Seriously cutest thing in the world. Won’t go through to the finals, but go ahead and give these kids a show on Disney or Nick. I’d even watch an episode.

Taylor Matthews – Wait, has he been singing Christian rock this entire time? WTF? I like him, not his best performance, but he could make it to the finals. But knock it off with the Christian rock. Sing songs about partying or crack use.

Connor Doran – Poor kid, he knew this was over for him. Just heartbreaking.

Dan Sperry – Dude, you’re pretty amazing. Your audition was amazing. This was not so much. Sorry, game over.

Kristina Young – Oh no. Totally didn’t work. Voice was way off. Awful. That judging was hard to sit through, but Piers actually showed some heart.

Arcattack – Agree entirely with Howie. Its neat, but they don’t get my vote. Would pay to see them live. Maybe at a burning man party. OMG, did Sharon say gooks?

Michael Grimm – Loved the voice despite illness, but did the guitar sound like it was sound engineered properly? Something was off thee, but he was great. He’s going through.

Ascendance – I liked the last performance better. It started out very cool, then lost it. Soon after the dude jumped up. They needed like fifteen people on that wall. And fire. Considering how weak tonight has been, they could make it through.

Prince Poppycock – Mother fucker. Mother fucker. That was amazing. That was just amazing. I mean, I feel very dirty right now, but in a good way. Absolutely amazing. Great music choice. Great performance. Incredible get-up. Fuck, someone needs to develop a “Prince Poppycock” comic stat! Guy is fucking funny, too. Loved the evolution of the character. Really outstanding.

Holy shit, Prince Poppycock already has a Web site. And apparently there’s a documentary with Prince Poppycock in it.

It’s gonna be opera singer vs. opera singer in the final. Fucking amazing. OK, gonna go watch it a second time.

OK, we’ve seen all the contestants – my five votes go to: Prince Poppycock and Michael Grimm with big support from me. Anna & Patryk get my support, too. My final two are Antonio Restivo and Christina & Ali, but I don’t believe they have a chance against Jackie Evancho and Prince Poppycock. For some reason Antonio has faded on me a bit. It was close between him and AscenDance.