The Occasional Blog of Jonah Weiland

So I did something tonight I never really thought I’d be doing if you were to ask me five years ago what I was going to be doing today.

I saw a live taping of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT, the show that anchors Tuesday and Wednesday nights on NBC.

I accidentally became a fan of the show after that damned Susan Boyle mesmerized us all with her unusual looks and even more unusual voice. So after watching a bunch of BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT videos online, I decided to give AGT a go last season.

And, dammit, I’m a weak fucking child – I was hooked after a single episode.

The fact I’m sharing this love with you is a testament to my need to embarrass myself.

So when Meldoy’s friend Lynn offered to set us up with seats, I said, “FUCK YEAH MOTHER FUCKER LET’S GO FUCKER YEAH!”

Or something much less wannabe gangstah.

If you’ve never seen a television show taped before, go to one. It’s an odd experience. It’s usually long, a bit tiring by the end and you really feel like you’re living in a weird bubble while the show is being produced. If you’ve been before, you know how a taping can be challenging at times. AGT is that – you’re there for almost four hours by the end of the 2 hour live taping – but it’s much more manageable than most tapings. This is entertaining, it’s just long and it’s not like those seats are all that comfortable. But it was fun and there were a handful of fun live acts there.

The theater is of course smaller than you’d expect and also crappier. It’s in a sound stage on the CBS Studios lot in Hollywood and it’s actually pretty impressive. When I say crappy, I mean simple (and crappy), but dammit if it’s doesn’t look amazing on television. It’s definitely “good enough for television.” Loved the place.

One thing you come away from an AGT taping is after you’ve seen it live then watched it again on television some acts don’t connect well in the theater. And I figured I’d run down the acts one-by-one and talk about what worked better on TV.

Also, you can hear me “woo” in the background numerous times. Yes, I’m that guy.

Da Maniacs – this didn’t work in person or on tape. Loved it when that one dude lost his pants, but felt for him. They seem like great guys, but no.

Nu Covenant – just as you’re about to get on board, their harmonies fall apart. Nice group of guys, but that didn’t work.

Anna and Patryk – really great. Possibly works better on TV. You’e in closer with them on TV. Place was really going off about these kids.

Lindsey Sterling – Yikes! Didn’t work in person or on TV. Liked the idea, but it wasn’t a great performance.

Doogie Horner – this was good in person, but even better on TV. I don’t know if that’s because the camera angles worked better, or if upon second viewing I finally realized how brilliant his set was. Focused almost entirely on mocking the show, it really was a great comedic act and a great choice. The subtle racism of the great white shark joke is funny as shit. Hates talking to babies. The misogynist joke, The pig lady can can dancers. What the hell? His banter with Piers. So brilliant. I hope he goes on tour after this because I would see him for a set. Gets my vote for top four.

Rudi Macaggi – Holy crap, mother fucker! Awesome! Scary on TV, even scarier in person. Shocking. Love this weirdo. “Phisolophical.” Howie wouldn’t watch. Piers and Sharon were freaking out. So much better in person. That place was going wild at the end of his act. There’s one or two “woooooos” from me in the background, and a faint “RUDYYYYYY!” Gets my second vote of the night in a big way.

Taylor Matthews – like this kid a lot. Not his best performance, but would definitely get one of my votes if I’ve got any left over at the end. I think he may have been even better in person. Place did react well to him.

Mary Ellen – Jesus Christ. Scarier in person. Ridiculously anarchistic is the only way to describe this. It fought against any and all common sense. I actually made X’s with my arms. Yeager barked at the telvision. Small children almost died during this performance. It’s awful and almost great, but not really. It’s scary. This is a look in to insanity.

Arcattack – this was prerecorded, so we were just shown playback. It frankly did little for me in person. The dude’s explanation of MIDI made me want to shoot out my eyes. Frankly this was MUCH better upon second vieweing. I did not get the full effect from the playback in the studio. Impressive set. Gets my back up vote.

Prince Poppycock – holy crap. Great in person, wonderful on telvision. The costume was astonishing. It’s Rupaul for opera, but way better. Absolutely gets my third vote.

Murray – Dammit, dude. I’ve seen that act before, on AGT last season none-the-less, but not like that and that was enjoyable. Bringing a tiger in to the mix is always a good thing. How that is done is completely unknown to me. There’s my fourth vote. Sorry alternates, you didn’t quite match up.

Strikers All Stars – Really not bad at all, but after that other dance group from last weak they come in a close second. Really great stuff, but just misses it.

The Judges – they work great in person and possibly even better on TV, if only because it can be hard to hear the judges during the show’s taping. All mugged for the audience at various times between the breaks. A shout of “Howie” from the girl next to me got him looking in our direction with a wave. Sharon is loved by that audience.