The Occasional Blog of Jonah Weiland

“He’s like a chicken keiv: on the outside so delightful, on the inside he’s filled with jizzy evil.” — Jonathan Ross describing Jonah Weiland.

Los Angeles is a strange place to live, for so many reasons. I love Los Angeles, it’s my favorite city in the world, but I recognize just how bizarre it is.

Of course one of the reasons why it’s so bizarre is the celebrity factor. We’re overflowing with famous people in Los Angeles and if you go out and about enough you’re likely to run in to a celeb at least once a week, if not more often. And see, that’s the problem.

Yesterday I went to the car wash and recognized a guy that was there. I thought to myself, “Damn, I know that guy, but I can’t recall from where.” I figured I met him at some party or some event or wherever and my first thought was to go over and say hi, so as not to be rude if we did know each other. But then I thought, “What if I don’t know him and I just recognize him from some movie or television show?” So, I decided not to say anything, in which case I was either A> right to ignore the guy because I don’t actually know him, celebrity or not or B> I have met him and was just totally rude.

This reminds me of a story from a few years back. My friend Jacob came with me to Lucha Vavoom and during the intermission we went outside for some fresh air. Jacob recognized a girl that was standing outside and started talking with her, convinced he had met her before. He thought maybe she was a friend of his wife’s or maybe they met at a club somewhere. He went down a long list of possibilities with her, but there were no matches. Finally she mentioned she was a contestant on WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO? Season 2. That’s where Jacob knew her from and suddenly things got a wee awkward.

I almost did this exact same thing about two months ago. I was playing tennis with a friend and we made our way out to the court. As we entered, a man and his son were leaving the same court, said hi to us and noted that his son had spilled some water over on the patio table and we should watch out for it. His voice and face was instantly recognizable and I was about to say, “Hey, don’t we know each other” when I, thankfully, realized that while I knew him, he did not know me — it was one of our many well-known Hollywood actors in Los Angeles, not someone I actually knew.

So, I’m starting to think unless I instantly recognize someone, I’m just not going to say hi. I realize that makes this closed off city that much more closed, but it’s better than coming off like some celeb-obsessed jackass.