The ‘Hof Falls
Tonight, I am so very sad. The David Hasselhoff drunk video has me feeling a deep sadness.
I first learned of it from an AP news story on the internet. I asked my friend Jacob if he knew about these events and he said he had seen the video. At tihs point I was sad, real sad, but I asked Jacob for a link to the video. I watched it closely.
It made me more sad. I’m really fucking sad. It’s like no sadness I’ve ever known. My heart shakes and quivers like a cold, small child lost in the wild on a cold wintery night.
It’s amazing that his daughters felt compelled to make this video.
I’d also like to know where he got the burger from.
But, really, it’s amazing. For the next year we’re going to see interviews with him everywhere apologizing for his actions and how he’s learned from this event and how much he loves his daughters, whom he secretly fucking loathes and wants to make into food for the homeless.
My friend Andy reminded me that the great author Alan Moore does not believe in real heroes, and neither should I.
I may have just lost all hope to live.
