Saw this guy standing around Venice beach Sunday afternoon. Taken with the camera phone, which explains why the quality is such shit. It’s one of those tree things from the “Lord of the Rings” films.
Last week I called Long Beach Mazda to see if they had an RX-8 in stock with my specifications. Unfortunately they didn’t, so I figured that would be the last I’d talk to those folks. Then Saturday afternoon my sales guy called me to say that for that weekend only they were selling their entire stock of RX-8s at $5000 below MSRP. He said if I were flexible with my choice of car, he could probably make me a great deal. Well, considering MSRP on the car I wanted was $30,000 and dealer invoice was around $28,000, that would mean I could get the car I wanted around $2500 less than dealer invoice. THAT was a bargain too good to be true.
And it was.
We started talking about the different colors and configurations he had available and I found one that sounded good. I then asked if he could give me the MSRP for each of the five vehicles they had in stock. He then proceeded to give me numbers that were $2500 higher than the quoted price on the Mazda Web site. I asked him why that was and he didn’t have an answer for me. He said he’d check in with his boss and call me back. Sounds good.
I never heard back from him on Saturday.
By Sunday afternoon when I hadn’t heard from the sales fuck I figured they realized I was on to their scheme, but I figured I’d give them a call just in case he forgot about me.
What transpired next was a conversation filled with double speak and lies the likes of which I’ve never experienced before. Sure, I’ve caught someone lying to me before and when found out they usually straighten up, but not this cocksucker. No, this guy kept the lie going as long as he could.
He began by saying he didn’t know where I was getting the MSRP price from, but that maybe the cars they had on the lot had different extra options that aren’t included in the MSRP. I then pointed out that the price I was quoting was directly from the Mazda Web site, the official Web site. He then asked, “Well, do you know what MSRP stands for?”
Incredulously I responded, “Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price.”
“That’s right,” cocksucker sales fuck responded. “To put it in other terms, it’s the price the manufacturer suggests we sell the car for.”
I shot back, “How is that any different than what I just said to you?”
He ignored the question and went forward with double speak and not answering my questions, saying that their cars had extras on them not included in the standard Touring package model. When I asked what those extras were, he couldn’t tell me. “I’ll have to go out to the lot to check on that,” he said. When asked how could he know there were extras on the car when he admits he’d have to go check on the car, he proceeded to list the makes and models of the five cars they have in stock.
I then asked him to use the Shinka model of the RX-8 as an example. The Shinka is the fully loaded/there are no other options version of the RX-8. It’s got everything. It’s fully loaded. It’s limited edition. It’s the balls out version from Mazda. According to the Mazda Web site, that car has an MSRP of $33,030. The price he quoted me was $2500 above the MSRP listed on their Web site. Explain that?
“Well, there might be some additions to this car that I’m not aware of,” he responds.
I asked if the car had the Appearance Package or Rotary Accent Package and he said no. “Then how come you guys have it priced $2500 above sticker?” More double-speak and avoidance of questions and I simply said, “I won’t be buying a car from you guys” and hung up.
Idiots.
This whole experience convinced me to check with my leasing company about just buying my current car, the lease of which is up the beginning of July. I spoke with them today and I’m now seriously considering just keeping my car for another year or two. It’s a cheaper option and may ultimately help conserve my sanity.
It’s disappointing, as I would really like to get this RX-8. It’s a very fun car. But unless I hear back from one of these idiots in the next week with an offer that’s reasonable, I think I’ll be sticking with my Wolfie Jetta.
Taken on the Tube in London June 5th, 2005.
One of my favorite words is cocksucker, not to be confused with cock sucker. When written or used as two words, it’s meaning is quite obvious. On the other hand, when used as a single word, it has a very different meaning. If you were to look up the word “cocksucker” in the dictionary, provided it was actually listed, you’d see it defined as “major, major, major asshole.” Well, I think I’ve found a new definition for cocksucker. See, I’m beginning a campaign to change the definition of cocksucker from “major, major, major asshole” to “car salesman.” Because that’s what they fucking are.
Today I went down to Culver City Mazda to check on a 2004, Red, Fully Loaded RX-8. I called a week ago and they said they had exactly what I was looking for. I’d like to try for a 2004 over a 2005 because it’s about $6000 bucks cheaper. The guy told me a week ago he had one with only 6400 miles on it. Fantastic. Last night I called again to verify that it was still in stock and the salesman assured me it was.
So, this afternoon during lunch I made my way out to the West Side of Los Angeles to check out the car. I pull up into the dealership, which I noticed had more in common with a southside ghetto than your typical car dealer, and parked my car. It turns out the dealership has been sold and very likely next month they won’t even be selling Mazda anymore. So, I found my salesman, the slimy, greasy, portabello mushroom looking cocksucker, and asked him to show me in the direction of the RX-8 we had been talking about. He showed me out to the lot, said “It’s just on the other side of the silver truck over there,” and as I turned around the back side of the truck I saw a yellow RX-8 and a red RX-8. He pointed me towards the yellow car.
“That’s the 2004 right there,” car salesfuck said of the yellow RX-8.
I pointed out how during our phone conversation I had specified a 2004 RX-8 in red and how he told me he had that. I was very specific about my request. I even called him twice to verify he still had it in stock.
“Well, we do have a red RX-8, but it’s a 2005.”
OK, you fuck, that’s not what I’m talking about and he knows it. At this point I’m getting pretty pissed because not only do they not have the car I asked for, the 2005 model they do have in stock isn’t at all the one I’m looking for (slightly wrong model).
It was at this point that I said to car salesfuck that either he completely misunderstood what I said on the phone, which I find very hard to believe, or he out right lied to me. “I really don’t appreciate being lied to and I especially don’t appreciate being inconvenienced like this, coming down to a dealer only to discover they don’t have what they told me they had. This is a bait and switch.”
It was at this point that fleet manager car salesfuck of the unkempt shirt and dirty face walked over to see why pasty white man was calling one of his salesman a liar. I explained the situation, and all he had to say was, “Well, I’m sorry we don’t have the exact car you wanted, but the 2004 RX-8 we have I can give you a great deal on since we’re shutting down. And cmon, yellow’s a beautiful color. It’s the color of the sun.”
It’s the color of the sun.
What a fucking retard.
I wanted to say, “I’m not running a taxi service” or “Yellow is also the color of piss, you jackass,” but I didn’t. I simply turned and left.
“I hate to see you leave under these circumstances. Don’t leave angry,” said fleet manager car salesfuck.
Yes, he actually said that. I half wanted to turn and yell, “I’m only buying a car, we’re not fucking, you lameass!” I opted to just keep walking for fear that if I turned around I’d begin hitting him in the face repeatedly.
I’ve since then asked a friend about the salesman he used to buy his RX-8 and hope to hear from that cocksucker tomorrow. I’ve pretty much decided that at this point I’m going to buy the car over the phone. I’ll find the dealer who has the exact make and model I want and will do all my negotiations over the phone. I’m not sitting in a dealership for 8 hours negotiating when I can do it from the comfort of my own home with a fax machine.
Car Salesman = Cocksucker
Took this photo while in England last week. It was in the Charing Cross tube station. I kinda like it, especially the proper looking older gentleman to the right with all the lines converging in the middle.
Yup, I’m in London. It’s been nuts so far. Generally when I travel I like to keep an ongoing journal, but haven’t had a chance until now. Just got home from a play (take the time stamp on this post and push it ahead by 
and I’m exhausted. I think I’ll pop on downstairs to the bar for a quick bit, see if anyone I’ve met remains, then come back up, do some work, some writing and prep for my hotel transfer tomorrow.
Overall it’s been really good, but I’m still quite lagged. I bet right as I leave my sense of time will have adjusted only to have to do it once again. A Tylenol PM will definitely be in need for the flight home.
