Mr. Huntington & The Grabitrons
It’s been a while since I shared anything Mr. Huntington related, so I figure now is as good a time as any.
In addition to his being the P.E. Teacher and coach of many of my High School sporting activities, he supplemented his income by working securirty at clubs on the weekend (BTW, he did this despite the fact he was an exceptionally wealthy man, but more on that another time). Mr. Huntington worked the door of many a club and rarely found himself in a fight. At 6′3”, 300 lbs, this African American gentleman was incredibly imposing and no one wanted to throw with him. If someone starting acting up like a fool, he’d just walked over to them, wrap one arm around the guy and move his mouth closely to his ear and whispr in the deepest voice he could muster, “If you don’t bring it down, motherfucker, you’re going underground.” That worked for many years, but when kids started bringing knives with them to clubs, he called it quits.
For Mr. Huntington, working for four or five hours at some big club in Hollywood meant easy money and some amazing sights (“Oh, the booty I saw Saturday night would make your drawers shake like they’s filled with monkey shit on fire!”). One thing he observed over and over again was seeing the ladies play the “grubby grabby” - basically one woman grabing another woman’s breast in public, generally more than once a night. He was amazed at how often it happened and how casual everyone was about it. Oh, he certainly didn’t object in any way, but he found it surprising. And he found it odd that it happened at all, but especially only with women because it would never happen with men. Men simply didn’t pick up each other’s garbage. Sure, maybe a man hug or bump, but never the junk grab. Not even a tweaj of the man titties. And that’s the way it should be.
Of course, Mr. Huntington always said his favorite part of the job was “checking for chiggers” - checking for women “jilling-off” in the bathroom. I’m not kidding! He said it would amaze most people to know how many people, both men and women, that would skip off to the bathroom at some point for a quick trip to the land of good tinglies.
If there was a way I could make money as a “chigger checker,” well, I’d specialize.
