There are Human Beings and then there are Car Salesmen
I’m currently in the process of shopping for a new car. I forgot just how much I loathe car salesmen. They’re an evil sub-sect of humanity clearly bred in laboratories where probes, pitch forks and bottles of bleach have been inserted into any and all body cavities in an attempt to turn them into the beastly beasts they grow up to be. They’re a detestable sort who will lie, cheat, rape family members and do otherwise unpleasant things in order to make a sale.
Case in point, jagoff Honda dealer salesman. The other night I hit the Honda dealer to take a look at the Honda S2000. I met a guy name Ahuhsudyeutyh or something close to that. I expressed my interest in the S2000 and my wish to test drive and also noted I will not be making my purchase for at least 2 months. No problem, he said. He asked for my drivers license, which I gave him. At the same time he asked for my phone number and without thinking, I gave it to him. It wasn’t until later when I left the dealer that I realized that was a dumb move.
So we test drove the car and I liked it. Ultimately I don’t think I’ll pick it, having been wooed by the Mazda RX-8, but it was a very nice car. Throughout the drive Ahuhsudyeutyh would tell me how popular the car was (considering I rarely see them on the road I found that surprising), how they have a hard time keeping them on the lot and that they practically sell themselves. When I asked if the dealer had any sort of incentives running on the car right now, he said no and once again cited how popular the car bull shit again.
I left the dealer relatively pleased with my experience and talked over my various car considerations with my friend Jacob. I told him of my S2000 experience. He looked up some stats online and discovered that Honda ships about 500 S2000’s to the United States monthly. Compare that to over 20,000 Civic’s shipped to the United States. Popular car my ass.
Yesterday I get a call from Ahuhsudyeutyh to see how I’m doing. I informed him that I’ve test drove three cars so far (RX-8, Mini Cooper S and the S2000), still had three more to go and reminded him I wouldn’t be making my purchase until the end of next month. At that point he put on his “hard sell” salesman hat and reminded me how popular the car is and how it might be difficult for me to get the S2000 that I want if I waited too long. That’s when I put on my “fuck you” customer hat. I told him that taking a hard sell tactic with me wasn’t the right way to go about things with me and second, stop telling me the car is “popular” and “flies off the lot” when I know the sales numbers on this car. At that point he began back tracking, “Oh, no, I mean is car is very popular with people who own. You know, owners love S2000.” They better, or else they’re driving a car they detest. I told him not to call me again and that if I were interested in purchasing the car from him, I’d contact him directly.
Suffice it to say if I were to go for the S2000, which I don’t believe I will, I certainly wouldn’t buy it from Ahuhsudyeutyh, if for no other reason than it’s practically impossible to say his name.
