Must De-Clench
Does This Happen To You? Generally when I talk with a customer service rep, whether it be in person or on the phone, I get all, well, clenched. I get agro. Murderous thoughts spring to my mind. It’s worse in person. When you’re on the phone with a “customer service representative” and you hear those dispassionate, insincere words, “We’re so sorry you’re having these difficulties with your service, sir,” it’s annoying, but you can let it slide. But in person … in person … it’s just not so easy to ignore. The disingenuousness of their statement screams from their face and my first thought is to usually take them by collar, pull them in close and, with as much flying spit as I can possibly muster, say, “Look you unbelievable shit bag, I know you’re just spouting things you were taught at a training seminar and don’t mean a word of what you say. So, why don’t you just take your bullshit empathy and shove it back in the manure pile that is your fucking head.” Then there’s usually something with a pipe and blunt head trauama and what not. Of course, in reality I just nod along nicely and say, “Ahh, thank you. You’re so sweet. Can I father your children?”
I hate customer service people. If you’re one, you have my sympathies and better pray you don’t have to deal with me. Or else I might have to father your children.
