JonahWeiland.com

I’ve never been a fan of total adherence to the rules. You follow the rules too closely, life will prove unexciting. I’m not saying you should go out and murder people, because that’s not good. Some general mayhem and light anarchy will do the trick in most circumstances. What I can’t stand are people who can’t deviate from the rules the slightest bit. When that happens, when that level of general stupidity rears its head, I tend to strike out.

Case in point, back on the 22nd I went to Best Buy. You know, the big box retailer where you can buy video games and a washing machine at the same time. Great stuff. So, I’m going to the Best Buy in Burbank and it’s one of these that has a separate sliding door for both the entrance and exit. So, I walk in through the entrance and as soon as I get inside I realize I need a cart. The carts are literally right outside the entrance door, so I turn around, go back out through the entrance and I’m about 3 feet away from putting my hand on a cart when I hear the following.

“Sir, you need to go through the exit.”

I turn around and find it’s seasonal employee #23840, who looks surprisingly like Robbie Coltrane playing Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies, talking to me. I’m practically outside the entrance door at this point and she’s saying this to me.

“Oh, no worries, I forgot to get a cart on my way in and they’re right here,” I say as I point to the cart now inches from my hand.

She responds, “Sir, you need to go out through the exit and come back in through the entrance.”

At this point my frustration gene has been activated. I pull the cart out, I turn around, stare at Hagrid for five beats, then say. “Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

She was speechless. It was as if her jaw had fallen on the floor like in the cartoons. I pushed my cart inside and did my shopping.

On my way out I saw that Hagrid was still standing by the exit. I’m pushing my cart, overflowing with gifts for the needy children, and when I catch her eye I say, as overly cheerful as I’ve ever been, “Heyyyyyyy, how you doin’? Have a nice day.”

Stupid people should be thrown on a giant sized George Foreman grill and served to needy children. Needy adults need not apply.

The other day I ordered delivery from The Hut. For those of you in the audience not street, like me, that’s Pizza Hut Delivery. You know, they of the ultra-greasy pizza. I’m not quite sure why I ordered it, considering I don’t much like their pizza anymore, but I did.

So, delivery guy shows up with my pizzas. I open the door, there he is. He says it’s some ungodly amount that made me wish I had just gone and picked up some fast food instead. I hand him the ungodly amount, he hands me my change, I throw a handful of bills his way for a tip, and he looks up at me and has a deluxe sized smile on his face. “Thank you,” he says as he smiles.

The first thought that went through my heads wash, “Ahhhh Jesus Christ, he’s going to kill me. Not again.” But when he didn’t kill me my second thought was, “Ahhhh Jesus Christ, he’s picking up on me. Not again.” I shrugged it off, threw my pizza’s on the floor in front of the television like a good bachelor does and sat down for a late evening meal.

It was at that point that I noticed tacked on to the outside of the top box a letter from The Hut explaining a new corporate policy or credo of what have you. Essentially, they say that if you order pick up you’ll be greeted with a smile. If you order delivery, you’ll be left with a smile. It’s all part of their trying to offer better customer service or some such shit-cookie.

Look, I don’t want or need your fucking delivery guys grinning madly at me like they want to rape my turtle. I’d prefer if they never spoke, instead just using signs and clicking noises to tell me how much I owe them. In fact, as a result of the “smile event,” I’m seriously considering installing a pizza box sized slot in my door so that I don’t even have to interact with pizza delivery individual. I don’t want your fucking smiles. I don’t want your fucking grins. I don’t want fake happiness from a guy who’s most likely depressed and on the verge of suicide by repeatedly stabbing ones-self with a number 2 pencil. Come on, he’s a pizza guy, he’s got one of the top five shit jobs in the world, he’s not happy.

You know, the local Thai food delivery guys never smile at me. In fact, they sort of scowl. I like them. I wonder if they still deliver this late?

When writer/creator/hyper-active-kid Aaron Sorkin left “The West Thing,” fans of the show knew this meant bad news. Sorkin was a cery strong personality on the show, the dialogue style unique to him. The complexity and strength of his episodes are above most everything else ever written for television. There’s some real remarkable stuff. So you’d understand the trepidation of a “The West Wing” fan during this period.

We were right. Season five, I believe, was pretty much boring. Maybe one or two good episodes in the entire 22 episode batch. Unispired storyline with none of the inspirational writing. The season finale was actually very strong, ending with that pitch from the mound at Camden Yards. It was a promising ending to a season that had little to show for it.

This current season, season six I believe, has been a rather nice surprise. While the dialogue style hasn’t returned, a good long-term plan with some very interesting dramatic moments is now in place and it’s very enjoyable. I’m starting to see where they are leading to (An Alan Alda/Jimmy Smits show down for President) and I like it a lot. The potential is huge. Where last season it seemed the writers were flailing, hoping someone would come along to save them from their sinking ship, this season seems like the boat is now in stable waters, women wearing barely nothing abound on the promenade and everyone has a Mai Tai in hand.

These past few episodes have been pretty great with some very good scenes for Martin Sheen. This last episode, where President Bartlet has his episode, was particularly good. I’d also like to know a bit more about Penn & Teller’s appearance. How they wrote it in to the script, what input the two of them had in the writing, etc.

If you abandoned “The West Wing” last season, I fully understand why. You might want to think about giving it a second chance this season. You might be surprised.

Oh, and the best line of the season?

Toby - “Oh, did they just burn an American Flag in the White House?”

Josh - “Uh Huh.”

So right now my sister is vacationing in South Africa. Here in LA recently the weather’s been very cold for the region. 50 degrees during the day, 25-30 at night. Over in South Africa, where they’re currently experiencing summer, it’s 85 degrees, sunny and humid. Must be nice.

My sister wrote last night with a story I thought was pretty cool, so here I am sharing it with everyone.

We were driving in the bush in an open 13 seater land rover and we spotted 4 or 5 elephants. 2 were just babies. Our driver decided to get a closer look so he went around the other side of them where there was only one way in and one way out. He turned off the engine as they always do as to not scare the animals. When we were getting ready to move on the jeep wouldn’t start. He couldn’t get the imobilizer to shut off and the car began to honk (or hoot as they say here). So every time he tried to turn over the engine the jeep would hoot 4 times. The baby elephants got spooked and ran behind the mothers. One of the mothers looked at us and it was quite nerve racking. The guide said as long as the elephants kept eating it would be ok. She continued to keep an eye on us. They were not even 30 feet away. The ranger had to call another ranger to have him push our jeep to a safer area. We just had to remain still. Finally after some work the other jeep was able to move us and he got the jeep running. Our ranger was shaking he was so nervous. We got a bit of it on video so hopefully I can show you it. He said if the bull was there he probably
would have charged us. Nice huh?

When I was a wee lad, my Father & I would often go to UCLA Football or Basketball games. See, my Father was a clinical professor at UCLA for most of my younger years and decided that UCLA season tickets were the thing we needed to do. So, we did and we did it often. Probably for four or five years or so. While I remember the football games most vividly, I don’t remember the name of any of the athletes save one Basketball player, Kiki Vandeweghie (now the GM of the Denver Nuggets). I know I saw a number of future NBA and NFL players, but hell if I can remember their names. Going to the games was lots of fun, but I think mostly it was fun hanging out with my Dad eating hot dogs and the occasional sip from his beer cup.

Getting back to the games, every year the game I looked most forward to was the annual USC/UCLA Football match-up, easily the biggest rivalry in Los Angeles sports. The games were rowdy. The games were loud. The games were amazing. For this young guy the cheering, chanting, booing (of Tommy Trojan, naturally) and everything else was just an enormous blast. No experience like it in live sporting events to be certain. USC/UCLA sporting events are like human sized cock fights in a bowl of jelly that’s been lit on fire. So much fun.

A month or so ago Tracy called to see if I wanted to go to this year’s USC/UCLA Football game at the World Famous Rose Bowl (while it’s got history, it’s a piece of stuck poo). It’s been a long time since I’d been to one of those matches, so I figured it was time. BTW, she’s a USC fan. Boo.

I go to a lot of sporting events. Lots and lots of Clippers games. Good loads of Lakers and Kings games. I get to at least three or four Dodger games a year (went to the fourth playoff game this year) and maybe one or two Angel games. I’ve been to Anaheim Duck’s games and loads of games outside LA. I’ve even been to an XFL game. And let me tell you this people who might be reading – there’s nothing that compares to the excitement of a USC/UCLA Football game.

Sure, I’ve been to heated and exciting sporting events. I’ve been to NBA Playoff games, Stanley Cup final games, great rivalries like Dodgers vs. Giants, but there’s something special about the USC/UCLA Football rivalry. College sporting events have so much more spirit than professional games. I was decked out in my UCLA finest in a sea of crimson and gold. I sat for maybe ½ of the game. Lots of up and down, screaming and yelling. And it turned out to be a great game. The final five minutes of the game you stood the entire time. The final minute was tense as it looked like UCLA was possibly going to steal the game. The 88,943 people in the stadium lent a special energy that if possible to be captured would light the city of Las Vegas for three days straight.

I admit, the first five minutes of the game this last Saturday had me a little teary eyed. It reminded me of all those games I went to with my dad. It reminded me of just how much fun it was.

I had forgotten just how exciting college sports can be. I’ve already called about getting some UCLA Basketball tickets for this season. Can’t wait for that.

To finish, here are some images snapped with my camera phone while at the game. BTW, for those of you without the sports knowledge, O.J. Simpson’s USC football jersey was adorned with the number 32. Make with the click for the largeness.

Ten years ago I saw the movie “Quizshow.” (God, could that really have been 10 years ago? Damn.) For those who don’t remember, it’s the story of the game show Twenty-One and an eager young lawyer who discovered the show was being fixed in order to goose ratings. I remember talking with my Mom about the movie afterward and she remembered when the show originally aired and how into the show people got. She told me that people would actively follow the progress of contestant Charles Van Doren, that it was a daily topic of conversation. That it was exciting. As of 1994 there really hadn’t been anything like that since and it all seemed very alien to me. How could the public at large be so interested in a game show contestant? How could that really capture the imagination of the general public? I chalked it up to having taken place in a different, simpler time.

Of course Ken Jennings proved me completely wrong.

Ken Jennings’ winning streak on Jeopardy was huge. Not in years has there been this much excitement over Jeopardy, nor for any game show. Sure, you could make an argument for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire before ABC ran it into the ground, but that show was all about hype and it was never about the Champion. That show was designed so that a contestant could be on one, maybe two shows at most, but it wasn’t open ended. Ken Jennings’ winning streak on Jeopardy was a mini-phenomenon. I read somewhere that he’ll be profiled on Biography. He’s doing the talk show circuit. Certainly a book and probably a Movie-Of-The-Week thing will be made at some point. Ken Jennings has cemented a place for himself in pop-culture history and helped Jeopardy find new audience.

For a long time Jeopardy had a rule that stated a winner had to leave after five games. That rule was obviously changed earlier this year. Interestingly, Merv Griffin, the creator and still Executive Producer on the show, was against the idea of lifting the limitation. In a recent interview he said he still is, that he personally likes to see new Champions. All this despite the fact that Jeoprady has attained higher ratings and interest than it has in recent memory.

Did Twenty-One take place in a simpler time? Sure, but it’s clear that’s not why the show became a phenomenon. It’s about the Champion and we eat up Champions. Whether they’re muscle bound idiots destroying themselves on a field of green or a guy who’s a bit nerdy and likable, we love Champions.