The Ladies…They’re Naked
Saw those Bare Naked Ladies tonight at the Universal Ampitheatre. I absolutely love when a show I’m going to is less than a five minute drive from my house. At any rate, a great show with some hilarious moments. Absolutely excellent performers.
Being at the UA it reminded me of a story. Something that happened oh so many years ago. Mitch and I took in the Elvis Costello show at Universal. I was more excited about the opening act at the time, Crash Test Dummies, but I was more than up for the Elvis, who really impressed me (it was really my first exposure to him).
So, on to the story. Before the show we did what men do before a show – we went to the bathroom. I found myself the perfect stall because I needed to spend some quality time in there while Mitch went for the urinal. While I’m sitting, doing what you do when you’re doing that thing, Mitch yells out my name, “Jonah!”
Before we go any further I need to point out for the ladies in the audience that men just don’t chat away or yell each other’s name in the water closet. Regardless of how confident you are in your sexuality, it’s just something that’s not done. No talking. Stop it. Don’t do it.
So, now that you know, I was in a bit of shock. Why the fuck was Mitch screaming out my name in the bathroom?
“What?” I replied.
“Come out here.”
“Little busy, Mitch. What do you want?”
“Uhhh, I need to tell you something.”
“Dude, it’ll have to wait,” I tell him. “I’ll see you at the seat.”
So, the really uncomfortable yelling in the bathroom came to an end, I finished, washed up and rejoined Mitch at the seat.
I asked, “What the fuck could have been so important that you needed to talk to me that very instant?”
“I just wanted to point out who was in the stall next to you.”
“Who?”
At that moment Mitch turned to his left and pointed with his left index finger (because using any other finger would just be plain rude) at a man sitting about 20 feet away from us.
It was Weird Al Yankovic.
That’s right, I took a crap next to Weird Al Yankovic.
About six years ago I had the opportunity to tell Weird Al that story and I chickened out. Dammit.
