JonahWeiland.com

I’m in Vegas, again. I’m sleepy. I’ve lost little money. I’m going to bed.

Oh, “Spider-Man 2” really does look fucking amazing.

I say I read about 10 or so different blogs on a daily basis. Most of them are the “meme” sort, ones where they talk about their own lives all the time without much talk of news or that sort. Most of these people I don’t know, will likely never meet them and I’ve not even conversed with them. I’ve not even left feedback with most of them since they’re on LiveJournal.com’s Web site and I refuse to sign-up with them. But I like the blogs.

Not quite sure what it is, but I like reading about someone entirely alien to me and learn what their life is like. Maybe it’s a voyeuristic side of me that I’ve not fully explored. Who knows. These people I read, their lives may not be all that interesting, but their writing and honesty can be very compelling. Those who write the most honest are the ones I come back to most often, but it should never be mean spirited. They’ll loose me the instant they go that route. These are all very sane (well, except one or two of them) people with an interesting style and outlook on life.

On the other hand, I share very little of my private or personal life on here because you know what, you wanna know that stuff, you gotta get to know me. Sure, maybe it’s not fair, but I’m making the rules here.

Saw those Bare Naked Ladies tonight at the Universal Ampitheatre. I absolutely love when a show I’m going to is less than a five minute drive from my house. At any rate, a great show with some hilarious moments. Absolutely excellent performers.

Being at the UA it reminded me of a story. Something that happened oh so many years ago. Mitch and I took in the Elvis Costello show at Universal. I was more excited about the opening act at the time, Crash Test Dummies, but I was more than up for the Elvis, who really impressed me (it was really my first exposure to him).

So, on to the story. Before the show we did what men do before a show – we went to the bathroom. I found myself the perfect stall because I needed to spend some quality time in there while Mitch went for the urinal. While I’m sitting, doing what you do when you’re doing that thing, Mitch yells out my name, “Jonah!”

Before we go any further I need to point out for the ladies in the audience that men just don’t chat away or yell each other’s name in the water closet. Regardless of how confident you are in your sexuality, it’s just something that’s not done. No talking. Stop it. Don’t do it.

So, now that you know, I was in a bit of shock. Why the fuck was Mitch screaming out my name in the bathroom?

“What?” I replied.

“Come out here.”

“Little busy, Mitch. What do you want?”

“Uhhh, I need to tell you something.”

“Dude, it’ll have to wait,” I tell him. “I’ll see you at the seat.”

So, the really uncomfortable yelling in the bathroom came to an end, I finished, washed up and rejoined Mitch at the seat.

I asked, “What the fuck could have been so important that you needed to talk to me that very instant?”

“I just wanted to point out who was in the stall next to you.”

“Who?”

At that moment Mitch turned to his left and pointed with his left index finger (because using any other finger would just be plain rude) at a man sitting about 20 feet away from us.

It was Weird Al Yankovic.

That’s right, I took a crap next to Weird Al Yankovic.

About six years ago I had the opportunity to tell Weird Al that story and I chickened out. Dammit.

The things they be making, they be making smaller.

The World’s Smallest Hard Disk next to a blood shot eye.
Seriously, you shouldn’t get stoned right before taking a
close-up picture of your eye. It’s just common sense.

Augie De Blieck Jr. sent me something special today. I’m assuming he didn’t post it to his blog because he does try to keep things PG level over there. This is what he sent me. This is ABSOLUTELY not work safe as it contains close to 100 swear words, but damn if it’s not funny as shit. The majority of “The West Wing” cast can be found in this, as can stars of other major U.S. and U.K. television programs. This from the same network that brought us “Spaced.” God Bless the bastards at Channel 4, U.K..

A number of years back my friend Egan started getting a lot of weird calls for Sandy’s Electronics. People would call him up asking for the price on some fuck nut capacitor and he generally just told them they had the wrong number. Turns out the new Yellow Pages was published and they swapped a couple of the numbers around and accidentally printed his number. So, he decided to have some fun with it and began answering the phone as Sandy’s Electronics. People would call, ask for a price, he’d say he was going to go do a price check and would never come back. Cracked my ass up! That is until the day Sandy’s actually called to offer him $100 and the opportunity to get a new phone number for free. So he got a new phone number and all was well and good.

I’m reminded of that story because I read this story today about a girl who got a new cell phone and it turns out the number she got used to be comedian Chris Rock’s! Definitely worth a read through.

I finally got around to downloading DJ Danger Mouse’s “The Grey Album.” Sure, I know I’m about two or three weeks late. Who the fuck cares? First, for those who don’t know, this is from Danger Mouse’s Web site:

The Grey Album is an art project/experiment that uses the full vocal content of Jay-Z’s Black Album recorded over new beats and production made using the Beatles White Album as the sole source material. Danger Mouse insists he can explain and prove that all the music on the Grey Album can be traced back to the White Album and its musical content via sampling. Every kick, snare, and chord is taken from the Beatles White Album and is in their original recording somwhere.

I’m actually surprised I liked it. Outside of “99 Problems” I hadn’t heard anything from Jay Z before. I’m not a rap fan at all. I’m not even a great fan of The Beatles. But, this combination and mix is actually really catch. I’m reading on other blogs and in magazines how this may be the best music to come out of mainstream Pop in a while and I can see why people are saying that. It’s different.

Too bad it’s highly illegal and will likely never see official release, but maybe that’s what helps make it good.