I Am The Odor Killer
Found the source of the kitchen funkification. Now, for those who don’t know, I’m a bachelor who lives on his own and doesn’t have a maid. So, on occasion, science experiments are conducted in my kitchen refrigerator as part of my research into bettering the plight of all man kind. Yesterday I opened my fridge to do some investigating. Towards the back of the top shelf was an open can of sliced pineapple that must have been sitting there for, shit, I really don’t want to guess, but possibly longer than a year. The remaining pineapple slices and juice it was shipped in didn’t just turn bad, but had transformed into something resembling 10W-40. It was black and thick and smelled nastylicious. It was so nasty that it had actually eaten through the bottom of the metal can and had started to spill out into my refrigerator. It was like the blood of the monsters in the “Alien” films eating through everything. The de-funkifying of the kitchen has begun.
BTW, I’m so getting a maid. This kind of crap has to stop.
