The Occasional Blog of Jonah Weiland

One of the most obscene examples of personal excess has to be the 4″ LCD television screen installed in all manner of cars. For the most part these items have been sold with the idea that your children sitting in the back seat will be entertained and out of your hair while you drive. Throw in their favorite DVD and the children are pretty much out of your hair for the rest of the drive.

Of course we all know that a large number of the installed LCD screens in cars are not being used by small children, but they exist solely to show off how much money the driver of said vehicle has. In Los Angeles you see people driving with them on all the time. While I can appreciate the fact that technology has gotten to the point that some guy driving a Hyundai can have a television in their car, an item previously relegated only to limousines, at the same time it is one of the most pointless and useless items sold on the consumer market.

My opinion of in car televisions changed dramatically this evening. While driving back from the Seemen performance (excellent I might add) in downtown Los Angeles I noticed something very odd. Traveling north on the 101 Freeway, around the Los Feliz area, I noticed a new model Chevy Malibu driving along in front of me with heavily tinted windows, but I could see hanging from the roof of the car in the middle was one of these annoying television screens. As I got closer I could begin to make out what was playing on the screen: PORN! I was watching some woman laying down on a bed with some guy going at her from behind. I’m driving on the freaking 101 behind a Chevy Impala and watching porn! Then the scene switched to show the woman’s face and her reaction (she did appear to be enoying the much pounding), then flipped back to the view from behind. Then a third guy entered the scene at which point I thought it prudent to move along. As I passed I tried to see if anyone was sitting in the back seat. I couldn’t see anyone which means either there were people crouched and slapping ass, or there was absolutely no one in the back-seat and the driver was just having a go at everyone on the freeway. Either way, displaying something obscene on this bit of obscene technology is best use of it to date.

The only thing that would have made this story better would have been if the car were a BMW. The Ultimate Driving Experience indeed.

Mother of mercy, sweet lord on high, holy fucking shit.

The latest trailer for “The Matrix Reloaded” has in 150 seconds killed any desire I’ve had to see another summer blockbuster because I believe that none of the others will be able to match-up against TMR. Not “X2,” which does look promising. Not “The Hulk,” which simply looks like “Shrek 2″ directed by Ang Lee.

I sat here watching the trailer on my computer in full screen mode with the Altec Lansing speakers pushed to eleven. For a solid one-hundred and fifty seconds I breathlessly voiced a single word: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Well, I’ve been following the LA Flavorpill since it began six weeks ago and it’s been pretty good so far. A mixed-bag of fun events with just a few selections leaving me going, “Uhhhhhhhhhh.” If you’re looking for new shit to do in Los Angeles, it’s not too shabby. In the most current issue there’s a listing for a performance show this weekend by a group called SEEMEN. Flavorpill describes it:

Feeling adventurous? Check out SEEMEN, a San Francisco collective of “art dropouts” and extreme technology inventors headed by Kal Spelletich. Since 1980, SEEMEN have been presenting avant-garde performances which allow audience members to directly operate and interact with their machines, robots, and kinetic art. Everyone who attends has an opportunity to operate a real life machine that can, well, kill you (although hopefully it will empower you). There is nothing virtual about this show.

Sounds promising. I may check it out this weekend.

Check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out…

For going on five or six years now Kodak has been offering a live Web cam from their Rochester, NY headquarters that shows a really interesting slice of nature. The Kodak Bird Cam chronicles the daily life of a Peregrine Falcon named Mariah. For the last four years I’ve checked into this site every year around this time to watch her lay her eggs in the nest box that’s located high atop the Kodak building. The first two years I watched she had mated with a male Falcon named Cabot-Sirocco, who’s since disappeared or died, it’s not known which. After the loss of Cabot, Mariah has hooked up with Kaver, who’s been with her ever since. This year sees Mariah bringing her sixty clutch into the world.

Mariah has laid three eggs and there is the possibility of one more. For the next thirty days or so the action won’t be too exciting as she’ll mostly be spending time on top of the eggs, keeping them warm, and waiting for Kaver to bring food. The action really starts once the eggs hatch and both parents begin hunting and the babies begin growing. It’s a pretty fascinating daily stop.

The Kodak Bird Cam is a great way to waste time while at work during the day. I encourage you to view it on company time.